Here we ago again. I have a problem. I need to get a history book called Forum by tomorrow. The Tampere's library doesn't got it anymore cause of course everyone else from my class has taken the others. So what to do? I need it cause I have a essay to write. We have to write about the topic that is given to us and we can use the book so we can write a PERFECT essay.. right.. Yeah. So this is like an excersize to learn how to write better essays. But this is the funny thing. The teacher informed us today about it. She told us how to write better etc. But guess who wasn't there?? I wasn't.. I was at Clasu tellin to those teen students to come to our school. The good thing is that we saw Pasi and Ratas.. :DDD and the hairy woman.. our new principal.. i had forgotten her. Yeah..But we didn't see IKSY though we would have wanted. :(( Maybe next Monday?
Well have to solve out this one.. maybe i should go to Messukylä's library to get it.
Now that I'm here in this library I noticed that the noices that these keyboards make are unstandable!! Yeah I noticed that at school as well.. but the girl next to me writes quick and loud... :( so irritating.. so i try not to write that loud.. but gotta goooooooooooooooooooooo
Thursday, 31 January 2008
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
no gods no masters
Religion. I really don't believe in that. Actually I believe that religions are human's stupid creations so he could feel safe and somehow explain the unexplainable things for him. If there was someone there up high watching over us... why is he letting us do everything.. we do? Why would he create human? To destroy ourselves? To destroy the world and everything along with it? I doubt it. That's not the God that the Christians are talking about... Why would he create this unperfect stupid humanity. What about the equality? Why would he make humanity .. make people suffer and then destroy themselves?? I mean that's crazy... Human just feels safer when he knows that everytime he wakes up and leaves for work someone is looking over him and is making sure that he will come back home safe... Still people die everyday.. ("It was God's will...") How hard is it to us to understand that we really are here alone.. No one is up there making our life better. It just our mind's own creation for us so we would feel safe and prevent us not becoming crazy. I mean some people are too vulnerable to come face to face with the truth... So they belive.
I'm free. I'm free to believe. I don't believe in gods, masters or any kind of witchcraft. Just too stupid and adolescent. We are here alone and that's it. The science is against it. I mean for example the Christianity says that the world is only couple of thousands of years old. That God created the universe just a minute ago? LOL... I mean science can totally prove the evolution... Why bother? Has no one ever seen God? No.. Was there jesus?.. perhaps..but he was just a little bloke who was out of his mind but still had some healing powers.
I believe in powers ... I believe in energy. Everything is energy. Everything we touch, we see and all that we can't see and feel. Energy doesn't disappear or reproduce. It just moves on and changes places. It's everywhere. People can use energy. They can do miracles and big things but they have to learn how to control their own energy channel. All those big things like miracle healings is just innocent energy which has been used right. When someone really believes in something and really really wants it... he will make it. It's just the decision.We are energy when we die... our body dies and rottens but the energy we had in stays. That's what people call ghosts and spirits .. really they are drifts of energy. The energy then passes to the next object and so on.
If there was God this world would be a better place. If there was God there wouldn't be hungry little children around the world suffering from hunger.. there wouldn't be wars and rascist hate... there would be more happiness.. I still don't mean that everything would be perfect but at least ten times better than now. People wouldn't be so stupid and demolishing their own lives.
I'm free. I'm free to believe. I don't believe in gods, masters or any kind of witchcraft. Just too stupid and adolescent. We are here alone and that's it. The science is against it. I mean for example the Christianity says that the world is only couple of thousands of years old. That God created the universe just a minute ago? LOL... I mean science can totally prove the evolution... Why bother? Has no one ever seen God? No.. Was there jesus?.. perhaps..but he was just a little bloke who was out of his mind but still had some healing powers.
I believe in powers ... I believe in energy. Everything is energy. Everything we touch, we see and all that we can't see and feel. Energy doesn't disappear or reproduce. It just moves on and changes places. It's everywhere. People can use energy. They can do miracles and big things but they have to learn how to control their own energy channel. All those big things like miracle healings is just innocent energy which has been used right. When someone really believes in something and really really wants it... he will make it. It's just the decision.We are energy when we die... our body dies and rottens but the energy we had in stays. That's what people call ghosts and spirits .. really they are drifts of energy. The energy then passes to the next object and so on.
If there was God this world would be a better place. If there was God there wouldn't be hungry little children around the world suffering from hunger.. there wouldn't be wars and rascist hate... there would be more happiness.. I still don't mean that everything would be perfect but at least ten times better than now. People wouldn't be so stupid and demolishing their own lives.
beautiful bloody day
You know those days when you wake up and you have the sence that the whole day is gonna go like hell? Well, I had this feeling today. Perhaps because I have my Chemistry exam today and I've not real read almost at all. I've been readin theses last 40 minutes but now I can't read a word more. All in all I have read about an hour. Great, isn't it? Well I don't care if I fail.. well i do but it wouldn't piss me off or suprise me.. and I can always redo it.
Yeah. So now I have about 20 minutes time to read and study how to count the amount of atoms of some liquid or somethin. I have no idea. As long as I pass the test in the end.
I feel really odd today. My legs are aching because I had boxin training the before yesterday and my muscles are really hurting.. and my stomach but that will go away... by tomorrow i hope.
Tomorrow.. Great.. Few friends of mine and I will go to our old school to introduce TYK so .. yeah.. brilliant.. after all this prepare something to say.. well i don't have no one to blame.. after all i wanted it.. We have to make this "speech" to three different classes.. brilliant that too.. one would be enough but ... here we go
Anyway... perhaps i should leave this computer corner cause behind me there is sitting a boy who has a terrible cough ... REALLY TERRIBLE and I've been listening to this for 40 minutes.. and i'm startin to get pissed off.. and stressed because of the test... so byebye.
Yeah. So now I have about 20 minutes time to read and study how to count the amount of atoms of some liquid or somethin. I have no idea. As long as I pass the test in the end.
I feel really odd today. My legs are aching because I had boxin training the before yesterday and my muscles are really hurting.. and my stomach but that will go away... by tomorrow i hope.
Tomorrow.. Great.. Few friends of mine and I will go to our old school to introduce TYK so .. yeah.. brilliant.. after all this prepare something to say.. well i don't have no one to blame.. after all i wanted it.. We have to make this "speech" to three different classes.. brilliant that too.. one would be enough but ... here we go
Anyway... perhaps i should leave this computer corner cause behind me there is sitting a boy who has a terrible cough ... REALLY TERRIBLE and I've been listening to this for 40 minutes.. and i'm startin to get pissed off.. and stressed because of the test... so byebye.
Monday, 28 January 2008
vibrating food
Today I have been thinkin about food.. not the meanin that I'd like to eat but the whole food culture itself. Interestin really. My mam is goin to Greece this Easter... She will be a kind of tour leader. She will lead them in different places and they'll taste all kind of Greek food.. They will travel around Crete and visit valleys and famous places. Delicious... but I can't afford to go with them.
There was an article in the newspaper today. About Britain's food problem. The Scottish are the second fattest community followin the superior USA which is leadin by being the fattest society in the world. Not a big suprise though. I was thinkin that if I ever go to England and live there, I won't allow my kids to eat hamburgers and chips. Well, the truth is I won't be able to follow them around everywhere they go and see what they eat but I'll make sure that when they are home they'll eat something that is really alive.
My mam, who is a walkin nonfiction book about food tells my a lot of interesting things about food. Something that I haven't heard before. She knows all about them. Really. And though I know what I should eat and what I shouldn't I still don't follow the healthy rules.
For example one very funny thing she said... And after that I have tried to stay away from the microwave:
There was made a study about what happens to the food in the microwave. It is known that the food "lives". There has been noticed that food vibrates. Spooky really. I have seen pictures that show the movement and it's really really spooky to see that the food you eat really lives. Vegetables and fruits vibrate a lot and again meat almost doesn't vibrate at all. The more the food vibrates the better. If it vibrates it means it is alive. So back to the microwave. There was a test where water was put into two glasses. The other glass was put into the microwave and the other wasn't. After the glass came from the microwave it was left to cool. Then they put a flower into both of the glasses. And guess what happened to the flowers? Yes, the flower that was put into the microwave water died after a while as the other flower still lived. So here we see that microwave really kills the food. Those microwaves really destroy the food and after that the food is so said "dead" and there is no nutrition left. So if you make food it is better if you warm your food up with the usual oven or use with the cooker. And it is also known that microwave harms people around it but now we also know that it destroys the nutrition of the food.
Yeah that's about the food issue.
There was an article in the newspaper today. About Britain's food problem. The Scottish are the second fattest community followin the superior USA which is leadin by being the fattest society in the world. Not a big suprise though. I was thinkin that if I ever go to England and live there, I won't allow my kids to eat hamburgers and chips. Well, the truth is I won't be able to follow them around everywhere they go and see what they eat but I'll make sure that when they are home they'll eat something that is really alive.
My mam, who is a walkin nonfiction book about food tells my a lot of interesting things about food. Something that I haven't heard before. She knows all about them. Really. And though I know what I should eat and what I shouldn't I still don't follow the healthy rules.
For example one very funny thing she said... And after that I have tried to stay away from the microwave:
There was made a study about what happens to the food in the microwave. It is known that the food "lives". There has been noticed that food vibrates. Spooky really. I have seen pictures that show the movement and it's really really spooky to see that the food you eat really lives. Vegetables and fruits vibrate a lot and again meat almost doesn't vibrate at all. The more the food vibrates the better. If it vibrates it means it is alive. So back to the microwave. There was a test where water was put into two glasses. The other glass was put into the microwave and the other wasn't. After the glass came from the microwave it was left to cool. Then they put a flower into both of the glasses. And guess what happened to the flowers? Yes, the flower that was put into the microwave water died after a while as the other flower still lived. So here we see that microwave really kills the food. Those microwaves really destroy the food and after that the food is so said "dead" and there is no nutrition left. So if you make food it is better if you warm your food up with the usual oven or use with the cooker. And it is also known that microwave harms people around it but now we also know that it destroys the nutrition of the food.
Yeah that's about the food issue.
Monday, 21 January 2008
boooooring :P
It looks like the time goes so fast. I mean... One week has passed and it feels like one day. Maybe it was the lack of something... And I was waiting for it... Yesterday was Sunday and I had my theater class .. though I didn't go it feel like one week passed two times quicker than usually. Anyway. Today I got what I wanted and now I can wait for tomorrow................ Two times... Enough... Well it's never enough but I have to live with it .. until (I hope) one day..
Now.. I'm havin my art class.. the teacher isn't at school.. we are just sittin in the class.. there are only 5 pupils left.. everyone else has left. I made my comic that I had to do.. now i have some spare time.. I would have left but I promised to my friend that I would go to the school's dinner together... Soo.. can't goo.. Anyway.. havin a boring time.. have to do somethin
Now I brought my woodoo doll with me... I'll make a piece of art with it.. a lot of blood and and and and spikes and and.. nawwwss.. 20 mins to gogogogogoooooo..... lalalalalalalaaa... I'm sining 4 songs at the same time: Get it on, Boys from nowhere, We're gonna drop the atom bomb and Stroke the shaft... Hhiiihiiii.. lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...I want my mp3 back or somethin that plays music.. now I just have to live with youtube, pc's music and cd:s... but what about when I'm sitting in the bus.. ?? Lalalalala.a.a.as.. ... I wanna go somewhere.. In England .. Greece!! Anywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok.. startin to get nervous.. So I should better go and do somethin with my woodoo doll.. decorate it with blooooood??? .. (paint)
BBABABABAA!!
Now.. I'm havin my art class.. the teacher isn't at school.. we are just sittin in the class.. there are only 5 pupils left.. everyone else has left. I made my comic that I had to do.. now i have some spare time.. I would have left but I promised to my friend that I would go to the school's dinner together... Soo.. can't goo.. Anyway.. havin a boring time.. have to do somethin
Now I brought my woodoo doll with me... I'll make a piece of art with it.. a lot of blood and and and and spikes and and.. nawwwss.. 20 mins to gogogogogoooooo..... lalalalalalalaaa... I'm sining 4 songs at the same time: Get it on, Boys from nowhere, We're gonna drop the atom bomb and Stroke the shaft... Hhiiihiiii.. lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...I want my mp3 back or somethin that plays music.. now I just have to live with youtube, pc's music and cd:s... but what about when I'm sitting in the bus.. ?? Lalalalala.a.a.as.. ... I wanna go somewhere.. In England .. Greece!! Anywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok.. startin to get nervous.. So I should better go and do somethin with my woodoo doll.. decorate it with blooooood??? .. (paint)
BBABABABAA!!
Thursday, 17 January 2008
No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs
These past weeks I've been readin a book (No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs) written by Sex Pistols' vocalist John Lydon alias Johnny Rotten. It has take me much time 'cause I have a lot of school work but these last two days I've read it as much as I had spare time (expect my boxin exercises) ... It's my second time I'm readin this book but at first time I was too stupid and young enough for not gettin it. Now I'm readin it again and it has totally won over me.
John Lydon .. he is the best of them all. He says all the things how he wants without any doubts ... he doesn't keep things in secrecy.. no, he tells everythin straight and clear and I love it. I love his philosophy... that sarcastic.. that hate against the community and the rebellion against the traditions. I have agreed with him in every part (expect when he said that he wasn't a good singer). He was always so different.. somethin that we call individual... but he really was one. Compared to what we call individuals these days.
Lydon is a irritatin person... some people love it and the others hate it. I love it. He has never lied and never will.
You should see a video which has an interview of him!! LOL he is adorable!!
He and his friends started the punk movement though many "I-am-wise people" say that punk movement started before the Sex Pistols and that Sex Pistols stole their style from other bands.
I say it's bullshit. In the 70s if someone wore torn jeans and shirts that were hold together with many safety pins and safety pins hungin from his ears, people would say he was crazy and dangerous. Still Lydon created his own style dressing up like that... He dressed up like he wanted. He wanted to irritate people.. and he was succeeded!! And he was the first one... When they got a bit famous and people started immitating and so on... like spitting!
You have heard that in punk concerts people spit on the stage... But do you know why? Why it started? Well, Johnny started it. By accident of course. He didn't want it to happen but people immatated him.. everything he did.
See it started because Johnny has a problem with his maxillary sinus. So every now and then he had to spit. He didn't spit towards the crowd but at the corner of the stage. The fans didn't get it so they started spitting. Spitting on the stage... So the spittin in punk concerts started like that. Fun, huh?
Anyway. I just love him. He is a person who says what he thinks. He doesn't care if people don't like him. He is just who he is. It's hard to explain... You just have to read the book to understand it... Well you can listen to Pistols' songs cause they can truly mean what they say. A band which created chaos. Their songs are full of anarchy, chaos, riots. E.g. the song called "Vacant pretty" and "God save they queen" can really define them all. They wanted people to get that they are livin in a nation that was controlled by others and some people got it some people were just to blind and egoistic and stupid and...
That is one of the many many reasons why I love the Sex Pistols.. They are just so different!!
Tuesday, 15 January 2008
A country livin' in sickness
All right here it comes. Day by day I hate this country even more.. all those people.. all those dim-witted jurks who think they are bloody well educated and perfectly sophisticated. Well, I don't think so. These days people look for comfort. Either it's living, food, education, money etc.. They are lookin at their own bellies and they don't give a shit about those other poor people all around the world.."We are just a little humble country here up north(...)... We won't hurt anybody.. We don't give a damn about the others... as long as we get money, power and electricity from Russia"
Well this "little humble" nation gots everythin it needs... What else does it need? Or let's better say.. want..??
Well the good thing is that Finland is not like USA which wants more and more though it has everything it NEEDS and plus some extra profits.
God where is this world going?? Anywayyyyyy ...
Only that this fuckin plastic nation pisses me off lately.. and I'm not the only one... So me and my (nerd, goood gooood) friend have decided that we are off... ByeBye self-centered country... England here we come.. I don't know exactly what we are gonna do there.. but I rather be a poor junkie than sufferin here!!!!!
This is rebellion against tradiotions... everythin Finland has built is crap to us. The law and the rules are just some fuckin sputter to us 'cause the want control... Control us .. well fuck off!!
Ohhhhh ... And two nights ago.. I had an inspiration in the middle of the night.. before I went to bed so I made a George W. Bush poem which took me about 2 minutes to write:
G.W.B. = <3
George W. Bush
oh my God push
Push the button for the next war
make it happen oh please quickly!
I can't wait until my brother will die
in your own mind's creation
where you see only thousand terrorists.
Bush, show my your collections!
The collection of your weapons...
How many times more do you have weapons
than Al Qaida has altogether?
How many times have you stepped on us
and ruined your country's dreams?
Georgy tell my your secret recipe of how
you managed to do all this?
Thank you USA for pimpin' my dreams!
Bush, shall we go to the zoo or make some poo?
They all remind me of you ...!! Oh Georgy, FUCK YOU!!
Well this "little humble" nation gots everythin it needs... What else does it need? Or let's better say.. want..??
Well the good thing is that Finland is not like USA which wants more and more though it has everything it NEEDS and plus some extra profits.
God where is this world going?? Anywayyyyyy ...
Only that this fuckin plastic nation pisses me off lately.. and I'm not the only one... So me and my (nerd, goood gooood) friend have decided that we are off... ByeBye self-centered country... England here we come.. I don't know exactly what we are gonna do there.. but I rather be a poor junkie than sufferin here!!!!!
This is rebellion against tradiotions... everythin Finland has built is crap to us. The law and the rules are just some fuckin sputter to us 'cause the want control... Control us .. well fuck off!!
Ohhhhh ... And two nights ago.. I had an inspiration in the middle of the night.. before I went to bed so I made a George W. Bush poem which took me about 2 minutes to write:
G.W.B. = <3
George W. Bush
oh my God push
Push the button for the next war
make it happen oh please quickly!
I can't wait until my brother will die
in your own mind's creation
where you see only thousand terrorists.
Bush, show my your collections!
The collection of your weapons...
How many times more do you have weapons
than Al Qaida has altogether?
How many times have you stepped on us
and ruined your country's dreams?
Georgy tell my your secret recipe of how
you managed to do all this?
Thank you USA for pimpin' my dreams!
Bush, shall we go to the zoo or make some poo?
They all remind me of you ...!! Oh Georgy, FUCK YOU!!
Monday, 7 January 2008
shit
Ohhh.. my previous text was depressing.. life isn't so boooring and bad... well sometimes it sucks.. but it's not my fault. It's that stupid George Bush's and all those stupid fuckin shitting smellin politics' and decision-makers' fault who are chickens, cowards, pansies and greedy little bastards desiring money and bloody power. Fuck!!
Sunday, 6 January 2008
Fear
My only fear is fear itself. Fear is formed in my own mind. It feels like my mind has turned against me. I'm alone. I used to be my own protection.. my own haven. I felt I was safe and I could live with myself in peace. Now I can't feel it. I can't protect myself from myself. I know it sounds crazy.. and believe me, it is. I have created my own fears. I know it but still whatever I do, as long as I'm alone I can't help it. I can't escape and when I'm alone I think too much. And when I'm alone I think of everything and make own life a living hell. Still I don't hate myself. I know that I have this problem and I really can't help it. It's not my fault. It has been compised of many years of living.
When I'm alone the fears gets the control of me and fills up my whole mind and body with agony and more fear. When I'm around with someone else I forget about it. I forget that fear is inside me and waits to get out. I don't want to be alone...
That means I'm my own worst enemy and this way I do bad things to myself though I really do nothing else that just think. I have hypochondria. A stupid shitting illness that really sometimes makes my life a living hell. I didn't know I have untill I realized I'm too afraid. Untill I knew I was too afraid of some illnesses that are not possible to happen or unlike to happen to me. Again I can't help it. Luckily I'm not on my own though I feel I don't get enough support or people don't take me seriously enough. I have hope. I know that I won't have this for the rest of my life so I can fight and fight against it no matter what.
When I'm alone the fears gets the control of me and fills up my whole mind and body with agony and more fear. When I'm around with someone else I forget about it. I forget that fear is inside me and waits to get out. I don't want to be alone...
That means I'm my own worst enemy and this way I do bad things to myself though I really do nothing else that just think. I have hypochondria. A stupid shitting illness that really sometimes makes my life a living hell. I didn't know I have untill I realized I'm too afraid. Untill I knew I was too afraid of some illnesses that are not possible to happen or unlike to happen to me. Again I can't help it. Luckily I'm not on my own though I feel I don't get enough support or people don't take me seriously enough. I have hope. I know that I won't have this for the rest of my life so I can fight and fight against it no matter what.
Saturday, 5 January 2008
2008
Again a long period without writtin anything.. again it can be explained by a friend who came from Greece for the Christmas holidays. Though I didn't write I had many days and times I wanted to write to this blog (though unlikely no one would read it). Different issues and topics came to my mind... but I had a friend next to me 24/7 and that makes some things more difficult. We had a great time. We did lot of things like we went to Turku and Helsinki and saw different things.. but I think summer would have been better.. warm.. In summer you don't have to go outside and feel so cold.. in summer you can see more places and have enough courage to go a little bit farer 'cause in winter it's impossible.. in winter in Helsinki you can only run from one shop to the other cause outside it's so cold that if you went for example to Kaivopuisto you would freeze on your way. Thinkin that we almost died when we were going from the railway station to the Tuomiokirkko.. and that's about 500 metres.
I planned that we would be more with friends while she would be here.. but in the end we only person that was willing to see us was Johanna. We spent the New Year at Johanna's home and we had such a great time .. really..!! I have never had so much fun in Finland at such time. So I think that the New Year was a succees.
Anyway.. Now my friend is gone... It feel kind of strange 'cause I got used havin a friend with me everywhere I got for two weeks, speakin Greek and have more things to do. When she left I felt empty and sad cause I was alone again.. and I knew that I had to go back home to mum, soon go to school( though it has its own goods ;) ) and I would be alone again and I wouldn't have anyone here next by me to talk to when I needed to... It doesn't mean that I don't have anyone to talk to. I have.. but very few. To mum I feel I can't talk about everythin. She wouldn't understand all of them but only the usual simple ones. To those few I can talk to.. i can really say everything... straightly how the world sucks and how I hate livin in Finland. I could never say these things to mum or to my sister.
School start on Monday. I wish I could go back and relive this holiday without anyone. I feel tired.. like I didn't really rest though it was a fortnight holiday. I didn't sleep well and feel mentally exhausted as well. Maybe when the days get brighter and nature will Bloom again I'll feel better and more alive.
I hope I'll go to Greece in February cause I really need to see dad... AND TURBONEGRO IS COMIN TO FINLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!And the best part is that I'm not goin alone.. Johanna promised to come with me.. I'm really really thankful.
I planned that we would be more with friends while she would be here.. but in the end we only person that was willing to see us was Johanna. We spent the New Year at Johanna's home and we had such a great time .. really..!! I have never had so much fun in Finland at such time. So I think that the New Year was a succees.
Anyway.. Now my friend is gone... It feel kind of strange 'cause I got used havin a friend with me everywhere I got for two weeks, speakin Greek and have more things to do. When she left I felt empty and sad cause I was alone again.. and I knew that I had to go back home to mum, soon go to school( though it has its own goods ;) ) and I would be alone again and I wouldn't have anyone here next by me to talk to when I needed to... It doesn't mean that I don't have anyone to talk to. I have.. but very few. To mum I feel I can't talk about everythin. She wouldn't understand all of them but only the usual simple ones. To those few I can talk to.. i can really say everything... straightly how the world sucks and how I hate livin in Finland. I could never say these things to mum or to my sister.
School start on Monday. I wish I could go back and relive this holiday without anyone. I feel tired.. like I didn't really rest though it was a fortnight holiday. I didn't sleep well and feel mentally exhausted as well. Maybe when the days get brighter and nature will Bloom again I'll feel better and more alive.
I hope I'll go to Greece in February cause I really need to see dad... AND TURBONEGRO IS COMIN TO FINLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!And the best part is that I'm not goin alone.. Johanna promised to come with me.. I'm really really thankful.
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