One year has passed...

One year has passed.. but the pain is still there. They say that time heals all wounds.. but I disagree. The pain goes nowhere. It's there but you just forget it.
You were ten years in my life. We grew up together. Ten years... They passed so fast ... too fast.. now you're gone and nothing will bring you back.
I wish I could turn back... Go back and change the past... Change that freeky day when we lost you. I wish I could go back and spend some time with you. Say goodbye.

One year ago you took your last breath.. you run for the last time happily and freely.. now your work here is done... Now you can sit on a cloud and look at the world underneath.
It kills me when i know that I will never ever see you again. I can't see your sad cute eyes... Stroke you, hug you and kiss you on the head.
I hurts when I know that I can never again run with you to the beach and play with you for hours.
I never got to say goodbye. If I only knew...
Do you remember the last time I saw you? Do you remember what I promised you? I remember... I'll keep my promise... You'll see.

I hope the man that killed you is sorry now. I hate him so much. How on earth can someone make a so big mistake? How can someone do such things? If he was an amateur why did he shoot? Why did no one stop him? That jurk... I hope he feels bad.. He didn't even apologize!!
But even if I accused him nothing would bring you back.

Even though you left, you left all those memories. You were a big part of my life.. A big part of my heart. You left and you took that piece away. All those memories... Happy memories. Remember when we were both little and we run together at the beach? Remember how I tought you those little tricks and how many things you tought me...? We were the youngsters of the family. The babies.
I remember when someone was eating something you went next to him and begged for it. You had this look that no one resisted. You were in every part of my life. You witnessed them. The divorce, the sorrow when the family broke...
You were a friend. You comforted us when we were unhappy. I remember when I was leaving back to Finland... It was the last night.. You knew that I was leaving. You came to me... You put your head on my knees and looked me deep in the eyes.
You understood us. I've never seen a so smart dog. You were like a human. Everyone said it. We had a connection... Now that's gone too..
I remember when we came from Finland.. you peed because you were so glad that we came.

I wish I could see you for one more time. Just once... One minute... So I could hug you and say goodbye... Tell you how much I love you.. And how much I've missed you!!! You would sway your tail and smile...

I miss you bark. I miss the way you swayed your tail. I miss how rolled on the sand. I miss how you begged for some ice cream when I was eating. I miss your look!
I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R.I.P. Bella <3
26.11.2006